Categories
Miscellaneous

The Federal Marriage Amendment

The Federal Marriage Amendment failed to even make it to the floor for discussion in the Senate today, thanks to a complete lack of a majority vote to get it there. Go Senate! (Not you 48 that voted for it, just the other 50.) I think the FMA is complete bullshit, and while I believe wholeheartedly that any two people who love each other deserve the right to be married, regardless of gender, I think it’s the wrong issue for our elected officials to be handling right now, when there are 900 dead American soldiers, thousands of permanently wounded American soldiers, and tens of thousands of American soldiers that won’t be coming home anytime soon, that should be on the tip of everyone’s tongue and the top of every newspapers’ front page. The only reason the Republican politicians are bringing it to the federal table right now is because they’re trying to distract the religious conservative voters from the 900 dead, thousands of wounded, and tens of thousands of constantly-in-danger Americans, all courtesy of King George.

However, in the interest of levity, I wish to share with you the views of my good friend K with regards to the FMA:

You know, if lawmakers really wanted to promote the sanctity of marriage, perhaps they should have structured their amendment differently.

For example, instead of defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman, they should have defined as it a union between two mature, sane, sober and rational people who actually plan to spend the rest of their lives together.

Also, why not do a Three Strikes and You’re Out thing? They seem rather fond of those of baseball-based laws. You get three shots at marriage. If they don’t work out…well, sorry, thanks for playing. Better luck next life. And it should have had some special clauses too:

The J.Lo Clause

Following a divorce or annulment, both parties are put on a two-year marriage probation and will be unable to get married again until that period of time is up. No more of this remarrying before the ink is dry on your divorce papers.

The Britney Clause

Any marriage that ends in divorce or annulment within 30 days of the date of the marriage will result in both parties being put on a five-year marriage probation. Neither party will be unable to get married again until that period of time is up or they can provide certified documentation from a mental healthcare professional that they are no longer a brainless twit.

The Elizabeth Taylor Clause

Any two persons who choose to marry each other, divorce or annul and then remarry each other are stuck together for the rest of their flipping lives. Apparently, you people don’t learn from your mistakes and we feel it important that you not be able to inflict your stupidity on any unsuspecting potential partners in the future.

I’m just saying.

Categories
Miscellaneous

Puppies!

Ok, just one puppy. I got to work this morning, and there was a little one-eyed dog in the hallway, surrounded by quite a few of my coworkers cooing at her. Coworker AL volunteers at a local shelter, and had stopped at the office on her way to drop Twink back there (Twink was too aggressive with her cats, so she couldn’t keep her anymore.) So!incredibly!cute! She was curled up in this little fleecy pad that AL was carrying around, but when she saw me, she got up and came right to me. I dropped my stuff and got down on the floor with her, doing my own cooing as I rubbed her little tummy. She made me wish I could have a dog (not an easy feat), she was just that cute.

AL took her back to the shelter already, but if there’s anyone here in L.A. that’s interested in a sweet little one-eyed dog (someone said she was a chihuahua, but she didn’t look like any chihuahua I’d ever seen) that looks to be a smidge smaller than my Trouble, lemme know.

Categories
Miscellaneous

Life, or something like it

I went quiet again, didn’t I? Sorry about that. Let’s see, my life in a nutshell for the past two weeks….

Got a big ol’ check from the IRS ’cause I screwed up my taxes. It’s sitting in my savings account, waiting for the state of California to realize that since I made a mistake in my 2001 taxes, I probably also made the same mistake in 2002. That’ll be a pretty little bill.

I said goodbye to two of my favorite coworkers—one is moving to San Diego, and the other is going to Yale grad school. While I’m happy for both of them, I’m selfishly sad for myself, as they were two of the funnest and funniest people in the office, and I’ve always enjoyed their company. Plus Yale Boy was our best player at Pub Trivia, so that’s gonna hurt.

Saw Shrek 2. Loved it, especially Puss in Boots, and if you’ve ever shared your life with a cat, you must go see this movie.

I’ve been spending far too much time at the dentist lately, and I’m going again tomorrow. Cleanings and fillings and wisdom teeth, oh my!

My cable is officially gone, but I haven’t been home enough to fully appreciate the difference. This weekend should be the real test. I did, however, get myself hooked on Six Feet Under. How did I ever live before Netflix?

I finally got my oil leak checked out. According to my mechanic, he can take my car for a week, dismantle the engine, plug all of the many leaks that he can find, put it back together, bill me $1200, and still not guarantee that a) he would’ve gotten them all, or b) that it wouldn’t start leaking again in a month. Apparently Subaru’s are notorious for leaking, but as long as I keep filling the oil, it won’t hurt the engine, just my parking space. So, I’m saving the $1200, and I’ve put a little carpet in the space. Although, I think I’m gonna need a bigger carpet

That’s the it for now. Perhaps I’ll think of more for later. 🙂

Categories
Miscellaneous

Got a ticket to ride

Despite the fact that Fahrenheit 9/11 is sold out in most of the theaters in my area, I managed to score tickets to a 9:20pm showing tonight—woo! That’s two whole hours of Why Bush is Wrong. What a perfect evening. Except for the $8 parking, but you can’t have everything.

In other news, if you missed The Daily Show last Monday night with Stephen Hayes, author of The Connection, you can check it out here. Note that it’s a 7.5 MB real media file—the best way to view it would be to right click it, save it to your hard drive, and watch it from there. And really, you should see it, it’s a thing of beauty. I think this was my favorite part:

Stephan Hayes: I think, I think the idea behind the Bush Doctrine is that if you support or harbor terrorists, we are gonna come after you, we’ll consider you a hostile regime. I don’t think that, frankly, in the aftermath of September 11th, I really don’t think that’s an unreasonable doctrine.

Jon Stewart: But here’s the problem. It’s not unreasonable, but it’s not the point. The point is, I’ll list you four things: developing weapons of mass destruction, inflammatory rhetoric against the United States, supporting and harboring terrorism, uh, and…uh, oppression of their own people. Now here’s the problem with your doctrine: You can’t tell me what country I just named. And that’s a problem, when you’re talking about war.

If your bandwidth is less than stellar, read the transcript.

And now for something completely different! The kitty bio page was updated yesterday, to include Greta and Cleo. Don’t roll your eyes, this is actually exciting news to…some…people. Yeah, never mind, don’t ask.
😉

Categories
Miscellaneous

“Those are pretty strong words coming from a guy who’s been mistaken for a plush toy.”

~Taken from Saturday’s Get Fuzzy from my One a Day Calendar. 😀

Anyway, so this weekend I bought myself an antenna (didja know TVs don’t just come with them anymore? you have to buy them separate), took my tv out for a test run, and found that yes, I can live with the slightly snowy CBS – never really cared for them anyway, except for the occasional CSI. Called Adelphia this morning, and as of July 5th, I will be without cable for the first time since college. Go me! I doubt I’ll ever be TV-less, since that would mean being DVD-less as well, but I’m feeling good about this decision. Now they just need to release Charmed on DVD. (Yeah, I know it’s a terrible show, but I’m still hooked. Not all crack is the good crack.)

In other news, if you haven’t yet seen Sports Night, go now and rent it/Netflix it/buy it outright, ’cause it’s da bomb. Great characters, great plots, great dialogue, what more could you ever hope for in a 22 minute sitcom?